Pretentious Dinner Gets a Lot Less Classy (Or Did It?)

Yes, yes, it’s been awhile. Let’s just say I’ve been busy…

…eating lots of tasty foods…

I promise I’m working on posts from all of my adventures in the Land of Comestibles this past fall, but for now, I thought I’d share with you how JT and I managed to de-class Pretentious Dinner.

What happens when a very hungry Lindsey and JT go to Central Market? They end up purchasing an absolutely ridiculous assortment of noshes, and pass it off as some kind of meal.

We just couldn’t help ourselves; we grabbed practically everything we saw. Everything looked so tasty! It wasn’t until we got home and laid out all of the food that we (okay, maybe just I) realized that our days of Pretentious Dinner were no longer nearly as classy. We used to have things like fruit, cheese, artisinal bread, pastries, and wine. We’ve thrown tailgate brunches with challah french toast grilled cheeses and mimosas (post coming later). We’ve attended food truck park openings, toured breweries, and celebrated my birthday with bacon lollipops. But last night was kind of just one hell of a (delicious) trainwreck.

At first the menu seemed perfectly pretentious:

  • Salami
  • Two kinds of cheese
  • Hummus
  • Pita
  • Challah

Then it slips just a bit: Instead of wine, we had Hoptober. One of my favorite beers, thankyouverymuch.

But then we really started going downhill with the condiments:

  • Cheap spicy mustard
  • A mostly-eaten package of Oreos that we bought the previous night at 7-Eleven
  • Caffeine-free Pepsi
  • Sour cream
  • Ranch dressing

And finally, the piece de unclassy resistance: Tot-chos.

Yeah, that’s a thing. JT and I first had them at Palomino in Milwaukee last month, after getting stranded because of a missed flight connection. But clearly it wasn’t a complete fail, thanks to Tot-chos. Holy hell were they good! Tasty, tasty little tater tots, topped with cheese and pico de gallo, and dipped in sour cream or ranch. Also incredibly delicious: Sweet potato tots. They were probably my favorite, especially when paired with a Lakefront IPA, but I have yet to find either of them here in Dallas.

So there you go. Meats, cheeses, breads, and tot-chos. You might judge me, but I don’t care. It was an awesomely delicious, classless, pretentious dinner. Just see for yourself:

Pretentiously unclassy

You know you want this


Filed under Beer!, Lindsey

2 responses to “Pretentious Dinner Gets a Lot Less Classy (Or Did It?)

  1. thebaconaficionado

    I love that you grew up in Maryland…I feel like we grew up eating the same mess! Guildens Spicy Brown Mustard always makes my ham and swiss complete and what the hell is in Old Bay anyway??? Gotta love this place!

  2. Yeah, but I’m also a huge fan of mayo on my ham n swiss. As for what’s in old bay, well, maybe it’s better to remain a mystery…

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