In case of rapture, drink snobby beer

My boyfriend turned me into a beer snob. It’s totally true. I used to be perfectly content ordering a Bud Light, felt slightly classier with a Shiner, and became elated when I could find $2 PBR on tap. But now I snub my nose at all of these (although I’ll begrudgingly drink one if nothing else is available).!

Thanks to JT, my beer palate has become nothing short of snobby. Unless it’s from a craft brewery, with an ABV is higher than 7%, I’m walking away. Most beer sections at stores are just not up to par, and there’s a serious shortage of Dogfish Head in Dallas. This has forced me to frequent Whole Foods and Central Market way more often than I’d like. Adding even more yuppie to snobbery, we’ve begun purchasing large bottles and assembling our own six-packs.

So what is one to do when faced with just a few more hours on Earth? Drink snobby beer, of course! In honor of our impending doom, we decided that our Friday night beer sampling snobbery would focus on Unibroue’s Don de Dieu, a lovely 9% ABV bottle-fermented ale. We figured that as long as we were drinking God beer, we’d be spared from the all-but-certain rapture.

Don de Dieu, rapture repellant

Don de Dieu, rapture repellant

Apparently our holy libations were just the thing to stave off the rapture for at least another few hours. We made it through the first round, and now all we could do was wait until the main event.

So at this point, I figured that if the rapture was indeed nigh, it was time to play some poker and (shamefully) share two pitchers of Bud Select with a friend. Bad news: I lost every single hand of poker. Good news: six o’clock came and went many time zones over without incident. And as far as I can tell, God didn’t come, and no believers went. Flabbergasting, indeed. Clearly this called for a celebration.

How did we celebrate? After combatting the pitcher-per-person of shame with a few pieces of pizza from Sal’s, JT, Jen, and I set to work drinking much tastier brews.

Party like it's post-rapture 2011

Party like it’s post-rapture 2011:

Harpoon Leviathan Imperial IPA, Maui Brewing Company Coconut Porter, a six-pack of Peruvian-imported Cristal, Flying Dog Tire Bite Golden Ale, Stone IPA, and the fabulous truth-inducing combination of Young’s Double Chocolate Stout & Chambord

But finally, the real star of the evening: a bottle of triple-fermented, 9% ABV, Fin du Monde, ale. Maybe our post-rapture beer selection is tempting fate a bit, but I’ll take my chances.

The only end of the world that I saw yesterday was beer

The only end of the world that I saw yesterday was beer

So maybe the world didn’t end after all. I might have lost my bid to take over the local Chik-Fil-A, but I did get to enjoy La Fin du Monde with two of my favorite people. In your face, Camping!

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